Showcase: Joker 2019

The opening scene has a lot of information about Arthur, but it's not clear what his motivation is. We know he's a clown and he's struggling, but we need to see what he's struggling with. The scene could use more conflict to make him more dynamic.

Instead of the laughter, try having Arthur show up for his appointment and then immediately have a meltdown. The scene could begin with the social worker giving Arthur a list of the things he needs to improve, and Arthur responds by arguing and then breaking down into a tearful rant. Having him struggle to control his emotions will showcase his internal conflict and make his internal voice clearer.

The scene shows Arthur's struggle well, but his comedic act needs more weight and a bit more of a focus on his emotional struggles. The scene isn't fully working because the context isn't clearly defined. How long has Arthur been working here? What is his actual work? Is he performing for an audience of children, or for adults? More context will help make the scene even better.

Consider adding a scene showing Arthur's comedic act in detail - even a small one where he's performing for a small audience will add to the weight and clarify what his work entails. Perhaps a couple of lines where he's trying to win over a difficult audience or a scene showing his struggles to work on his material might be good ideas as well.

The scene could benefit from showing Arthur's internal struggle as he tries to process the pain and humiliation of the beating. Perhaps he could have flashbacks or visions of the event while trying to laugh it off, or maybe he could try to rationalize the experience as a joke, as if it were a performance, to cope with the trauma. This would allow for a more nuanced exploration of Arthur's psychological state and his descent into madness.

Consider adding a more internal perspective to the scene, showing Arthur's emotional response to the beating. It could involve flashbacks, visions, or even self-deprecating jokes as a coping mechanism.

The scene could be more evocative. The reader needs to feel Arthur's emotional turmoil more viscerally. The scene has the potential to be visually interesting, but the focus is on the dialogue and Arthur's mental state, making it feel less impactful. The suggestion of using a dramatic camera angle for a closer look at Arthur's reaction is a good start, but it could be pushed further. Consider adding more details about the environment, the other passengers, and their reactions to Arthur's outburst. Think about using sensory details like sound and smell to immerse the reader in the experience.

Add more sensory details about the environment, the other passengers, and their reactions to Arthur's outburst. Think about using sensory details like sound and smell to immerse the reader in the experience. Try using a dramatic camera angle for a closer look at Arthur's reaction to the boy on the bus.

The scene where Arthur returns home and sees the kids on the fire escape could be more interesting. It feels a bit too short and doesn't capture the full extent of Arthur's loneliness. He's trying to find his place, but his connection to the kids needs to be more profound for the audience to really feel for him. The scene would benefit from a more visual and emotionally charged depiction.

Consider adding a visual detail to the scene that makes the children seem like more than just a group of kids. For example, maybe one of them is reading a comic book, or perhaps they are drawing on the fire escape. You could also try showing Arthur's reaction to the children more explicitly. Maybe he looks at them wistfully, or he feels a pang of loneliness when he sees them. You could also add a line of dialogue to the scene, something that highlights Arthur's isolation. For example, one of the kids could say, "Hey, Arthur! You're a funny guy!" and Arthur could reply, "I'm not funny." This would help to emphasize Arthur's feelings of isolation and make the scene more emotionally resonant.

The scene with Arthur in the elevator is a bit too quick. There's an opportunity to explore his thoughts and feelings as he heads towards his apartment. His internal voice, possibly through a monologue, could be a powerful tool here. The elevator ride could be a more dynamic and emotional experience.

Instead of showing Arthur quickly entering the elevator, try focusing on his internal thoughts and emotions as he rides up to his floor. Perhaps he could be reminiscing about his past, struggling with his current situation, or even fantasizing about a better future. This could be achieved through a voiceover of Arthur's thoughts, or a series of quick cuts showing him reliving moments from his past or present. This will add a lot of depth and complexity to the character and make the elevator scene a more engaging and meaningful part of the story.

The scene with Arthur and his mother could use some more tension, a better sense of the emotional weight of the situation, and perhaps some more realistic dialogue. Arthur's reaction to the news of his mother's mental health crisis could be more nuanced. For example, instead of simply saying he was 'mentally ill', he might express some confusion or even anger. His mother could express her concern about him, perhaps saying she's worried about his behavior or that she doesn't want him to become like his father. The dialogue could benefit from a more conversational tone, and the scene might be more impactful if we see Arthur showing a moment of vulnerability or a more complicated reaction to his mother's emotional state.

Perhaps Arthur can be seen to be showing a reaction to the news that he is mentally ill, a more complicated reaction to his mother's emotional state. The dialogue could benefit from a more conversational tone.

The scene is good, but it could be made even more impactful. We could learn more about Arthur's state of mind. Instead of seeing him laugh, we could see him do something to express his anger, such as breaking an object. The social worker's character could be fleshed out a bit more, such as having a reaction to Arthur's journal.

The scene where Arthur walks home is a good opportunity to emphasize his isolation. The scene could benefit from more visual details about his surroundings. The setting should be a reflection of his inner turmoil. How is the city reflected in his mind? Is it dark and hopeless? This could help add a layer of depth to his character.

The short description is good, but we can go further. We know Arthur is disturbed, but what are his thoughts about the comedy club? Does he feel like an outsider looking in? Is there something about the club that resonates with him? This is a chance to further define the world Arthur lives in, and what sets him apart.

Show us Arthur’s internal world a little more. Maybe he’s envious of the comedian, the audience laughing, the camaraderie that the comedian has with the crowd. Does he see the club as a place where he could be accepted? This scene should reveal more of Arthur’s loneliness, and his desire to be liked, loved, and accepted by others.

This scene is a good start to establishing Arthur's character, but it feels a little rushed. It could benefit from a bit more detail and sensory description. For example, we could get a stronger sense of Arthur's physical state as he struggles to control his laughter. What does the room look like? What is the Social Worker like? What other sounds are present in the room? More details like this will make the scene more immersive and engaging for the reader.

Consider adding some more sensory detail to the scene, especially in terms of Arthur's physical and emotional state. This will help the reader better connect with the character and understand his internal struggle.

The scene starts with Arthur laughing, which doesn't quite feel right after what he has gone through. He should be in a more fragile state, shaken by the violence. Maybe start with him in shock or trying to regain control over his emotions, and gradually build up to the laughter later in the scene.

The scene could benefit from more description of Arthur's state of mind and the room around him. What kind of thoughts is he having? Is he in pain? Is he looking at the room and feeling overwhelmed? What's the state of his mother's room? Is it messy, clean? Is there anything in the room that could trigger a reaction from him?

The scene is fine as is, but I think it would be more impactful to open with Arthur waking up in the morning, still at his mom's apartment. It's a jarring transition from the previous scene to see him waking up mid-day and getting ready. Maybe we can also have a few more shots showing the details of the apartment, including his mom's room. Having her asleep in her bed could show just how helpless and dependent he is on her.

Open the scene with Arthur waking up, still at his mom's apartment. Have him getting ready for the day, showing more details of the apartment.

The scene is very interesting, but I feel like it's missing a lot of detail and could use more exposition. How does Arthur feel about being locked up? Why does he want to go back to the hospital? Is there a particular reason for his emotional state? And how does he feel about Thomas Wayne? These are all questions the reader will have, and answering them would help to give the scene more depth. I think we need to see more of Arthur's internal life and motivations, and to see how he interacts with the other characters in the scene. The scene is written in a very cinematic style and lacks enough detail to make the reader feel the emotion.

I'd like to see more of Arthur's emotional state revealed as he watches the show and then comes out to perform. There needs to be a reason for his emotional state. Maybe we can see him struggling with his performance and the fact that people are paying attention to him for the wrong reasons.

Open the script with a more dynamic scene where Arthur is already laughing and we see what prompts the Social Worker to intervene. For example, Arthur could be laughing at something that is not funny and the Social Worker tries to help him.

The script is a bit slow to start and could use a more dynamic opening. The audience gets a sense of the tone and atmosphere but it's not until Arthur laughs in the office that the script really takes off. Perhaps the scene could start with Arthur already laughing and we see what prompts the Social Worker to intervene? The current opening could be more engaging.

Create a clear antagonist for Arthur. Perhaps Randall, the clown, can be the obstacle standing between Arthur and his ultimate goal.

The script is missing a clear antagonist to drive the plot. While Thomas Wayne could serve as a potential antagonist, he's not really a threat. It's unclear who the true obstacle is to Arthur's ultimate goal. This could be addressed by introducing a more direct and formidable opponent, potentially someone from the clown world or someone connected to Thomas Wayne.

Explore Arthur's internal thoughts and motivations more deeply. The script could benefit from showing us how Arthur's internal struggles manifest in his actions.

The script has a lot of detail about Arthur's appearance and his laugh, but it could benefit from adding more detail about his inner thoughts and motivations. Explore Arthur's motivations for becoming a clown, his reasons for wanting to connect with Thomas Wayne, and what he's feeling inside after the subway incident.

Explore Arthur's mental illness with more nuance. The script could benefit from exploring the spectrum of his condition and how his illness is presented in a more realistic way.

While the script showcases Arthur's mental illness, it could explore this aspect in a more nuanced way. Consider exploring Arthur's condition as a spectrum rather than just a simple label. Incorporating more complex psychological details can create a more realistic and compelling character.