Beyond 'Said' and 'Asked': 5 Dialogue Mistakes Screenwriters Make (and How to Fix Them)

The 'Said' Syndrome: Why Passive Dialogue Kills Your Script

You've heard it before: "Show, don't tell." But what about dialogue? While action-driven scenes are essential, how your characters speak is just as crucial to a compelling script.

The most common dialogue sin? The dreaded "said" syndrome. Reliance on "he said" and "she said" creates passive, lifeless dialogue that fails to engage the reader.

Why is "said" so problematic?

1. It's Invisible: "Said" blends into the background, offering no insight into how the character is speaking. Is it angrily? With a tremor in their voice? With playful sarcasm? The lack of description leaves the reader guessing, hindering their immersion in the scene.

2. It's Dull: Overusing "said" creates a monotonous rhythm. It's like reading a list of instructions—uninspired and lacking emotional impact.

3. It's Lazy: "Said" is the default choice for dialogue attribution. But why settle for the bare minimum when you can paint a vivid picture with your words?

Beyond 'Said': A Palette of Options

Instead of "said," explore a wider range of dialogue tags. These verbs provide context, reveal character nuances, and add emotional depth:

• Action verbs: "He grunted," "She whispered," "He scoffed"
• Descriptive verbs: "He croaked," "She sighed," "He barked"
• Emotional verbs: "He pleaded," "She hinted," "He challenged"
• Non-verbal cues: "He nodded," "She frowned," "He rolled his eyes"

But be mindful:

• Don't overdo it: Choose verbs that truly add meaning to the scene. Avoid using too many descriptive verbs or ones that feel unnatural.
• Vary your tags: Mix up your tags to keep the rhythm dynamic and engaging.
• Don't over-explain: Trust the reader to infer emotion from the dialogue itself.

Let's take an example:

Instead of:

"I'm leaving," she said.

Try:

"I'm leaving," she hinted, a flicker of defiance in her eyes.

By substituting "said" with "hinted" and adding a descriptive detail, we instantly create a more impactful and engaging scene.

Remember, dialogue is a powerful tool for character development and plot progression. By moving beyond 'said,' you can unleash the full potential of your script and captivate your audience.

For further inspiration on crafting compelling dialogue, check out these resources:

• On Writing: Stephen King's insightful guide to writing with a focus on dialogue.
• Save the Cat! Writes a Novel: A creative writing guide that covers crafting believable dialogue and scenes.
• Dialogue: The Art of Conversation: A detailed guide on dialogue structure and how to create authentic, engaging conversations for your characters.

Expository Dialogue: The Enemy of Subtext

Expository dialogue, also known as "telling" instead of "showing," is a common pitfall in screenwriting. It happens when characters explicitly state information that could be conveyed more subtly and effectively through action, visual cues, or even silence. This can lead to clunky dialogue, a lack of tension, and a feeling that the audience is being spoon-fed information rather than being engaged in the story.

Why is expository dialogue bad?

• It feels unnatural. In real life, people rarely spell out everything they're thinking or feeling. Dialogue should sound authentic and organic, reflecting the way people actually communicate.
• It can make the story predictable. If characters constantly explain everything, there's no room for mystery or suspense. The audience will anticipate the plot twists and be less invested in the story's outcome.
• It reduces the impact of subtext. Subtext is the hidden meaning beneath the surface of dialogue and actions. It's what makes characters complex and relatable, and it's essential for creating a layered and emotionally resonant story. When you rely on expository dialogue, you sacrifice the richness and depth that subtext provides.

How to avoid expository dialogue

Instead of stating things directly, find ways to convey information through:

• Visual cues. Show, don't tell. Use the setting, props, costumes, and characters' actions to communicate important information.
• Action. Instead of having characters say "I'm angry!" show them slamming a door, throwing a glass, or clenching their fists.
• Subtext. Allow your characters' dialogue to have layers of meaning. Let their words hint at their motivations, fears, or desires. For example, instead of a character saying, "I'm worried about my job," have them say, "I'm going to have to work late again tonight" and convey their anxieties through their body language and tone of voice.
• Silence. Sometimes, the most powerful communication comes from saying nothing at all. Use silence to create tension, suspense, or to underscore the weight of an unspoken emotion.

Examples of expository dialogue

• Bad: "I'm so scared. What if we don't make it out of this forest?"

• Good: (Character trembles, her eyes darting nervously around the dense forest. She clutches her backpack tightly.)

• Bad: "I'm in love with you. You're the only one for me."

• Good: (Character gazes into the other character's eyes, a soft smile spreading across their face. They reach out to touch their hand.)

Remember: The goal is to create a story that engages the audience on both a conscious and subconscious level. Avoid expository dialogue and embrace the power of showing, subtext, and silence. Your characters and your story will thank you for it.

The 'Info Dump': How to Avoid Overloading Your Characters (and Audience)

You've got a world full of fascinating lore and details, and you're itching to share it with your audience. But be careful—dumping all that information into your dialogue can be a recipe for a dull and unengaging scene.

What's an info dump?

It's a block of exposition that feels forced and unnatural. It's when characters say things they wouldn't normally say in real life just to convey information to the audience.

Why are info dumps bad?

• They slow down the pace: Instead of moving the story forward, they create a pause where the audience disengages.
• They lack naturalism: Characters who only speak in exposition sound robotic and unbelievable.
• They make the audience feel like they're being lectured: No one wants to feel like they're being spoon-fed information.

How to avoid info dumps:

• Use subtext: Instead of saying something directly, let your characters imply information through their actions, reactions, or dialogue.
• Weave information into natural conversation: Don't have characters deliver monologues about the history of your world. Instead, sprinkle important details into casual conversations.
• Show, don't tell: Let the audience learn about your world through visual cues, actions, and interactions. For example, instead of saying "This town is full of danger," show a character getting mugged in an alley.
• Use a reliable narrator: A narrator can be a great way to provide background information without feeling intrusive. This approach is particularly useful when dealing with complex worldbuilding.

Examples of Info Dumps:

• "As you know, the kingdom of Eldoria has been at war with the neighboring empire for centuries, and the ancient prophecy foretells a great battle that will decide the fate of both lands." (This is an example of characters explaining things they already know to the audience, which is unrealistic and boring.)
• "This sword is enchanted with the power of the ancient dragon, which was slain by the legendary hero, who used the dragon's scales to forge a shield that is now lost to the depths of the ocean." (This feels like a laundry list of information, rather than a natural conversation.)

How to Improve Dialogue:

• Give your characters agency: Let them have their own opinions and motivations. Don't make them simply mouthpieces for information.
• Use dialogue tags sparingly: Too many "he said" and "she said" can make your dialogue feel clunky. Instead, focus on using strong verbs and descriptive language.
• Make it conversational: Dialogue should sound like real people talking. Don't be afraid to use contractions, slang, and informal language.

By avoiding info dumps and focusing on natural, engaging dialogue, you can create a more immersive and compelling world for your audience.

Unnatural Conversation: Making Dialogue Sound Authentic

Have you ever watched a movie or TV show and thought, 'That's not how people actually talk!'? We've all been there. While some screenwriters are masters at crafting natural-sounding dialogue, others fall into the trap of writing lines that feel clunky, forced, or simply unrealistic.

So, how can you avoid these common pitfalls and create dialogue that truly sings? Here are a few tips:

• Avoid Exposition Dumps: Dialogue should flow naturally, not feel like characters are reciting information to the audience. Resist the urge to have characters explain things that are already clear or provide unnecessary background information. Instead, weave important details into the conversation organically.
• Use Subtext: Subtext adds layers of meaning to your dialogue. What is a character really trying to say, even if they're not saying it directly? Subtext can create tension, conflict, and a deeper understanding of your characters.
• Embrace Imperfect Speech: People don't always speak in perfectly formed sentences. Allow your characters to use slang, contractions, and even grammatical errors. This adds authenticity to their voices and makes them feel more relatable.
• Let Silence Speak Volumes: Silence can be just as powerful as dialogue. Use pauses, long glances, and non-verbal cues to convey emotions and create tension.

Remember, dialogue is more than just words on a page. It's a tool for building relationships, revealing character, and driving the plot forward. By focusing on creating dialogue that feels genuine and authentic, you'll create a more immersive and engaging experience for your audience.

Dialogue Tags: The Dos and Don'ts of Using 'Said,' 'Asked,' and More

Dialogue tags are the verbs that introduce a character's speech. They're essential for clarity, but overusing them can lead to clunky, repetitive writing. Here's a breakdown of the dos and don'ts:

The Dos:

• Use "said" and "asked" sparingly: While they're the most common, relying on them too heavily makes your dialogue sound robotic. Mix it up with synonyms like replied, whispered, shouted, chuckled, murmured.
• Choose descriptive verbs: Instead of "He said," try something more evocative like "He growled." This adds depth to the character's speech and conveys their emotion.
• Utilize action tags: Instead of just stating what the character said, try incorporating an action. For example, "He slammed the door and shouted, "I'm leaving!" This makes the dialogue more dynamic and engaging.
• Weave in dialogue tags: Don't feel like you need to stick to the beginning of a sentence. You can place them in the middle or at the end, adding variety to your writing. For example, "I'm leaving," he said, "and I'm not coming back!"

The Don'ts:

• Avoid overusing adverbs: While adverbs can sometimes be useful, avoid using them to describe the way someone speaks. For example, "He said angrily," is better replaced with a descriptive verb like "He snarled."
• Don't use dialogue tags unnecessarily: If the context is clear, you don't need a tag at all. For example, "Do you want coffee?" she asked, "Yes, please." The second sentence is clear without a tag.
• Don't be afraid to experiment: Try using a range of verbs and placement for your tags. The goal is to create natural-sounding dialogue that enhances your story.

Resources for Further Exploration:

• Screenwriters' University: This site offers in-depth articles and resources on screenwriting, including dialogue techniques.
• The Writer's Digest: This website provides a wealth of articles, tips, and advice for writers, including a section dedicated to dialogue.
• The Script Lab: This site features a blog with informative posts on screenwriting, covering various aspects of dialogue.

By mastering the art of dialogue tags, you can create more engaging and realistic conversations in your screenplay. Remember, less is more. Focus on using tags strategically to convey meaning and enhance the story's flow.

Character Voices: Giving Your Dialogue Personality

Dialogue isn't just about conveying information; it's about bringing your characters to life. Each character should have a distinct voice that reflects their personality, background, and even their emotional state. Think about how people you know speak: some use slang, others are more formal, some speak in long, detailed sentences, while others are concise and to the point.

Here's how to give your dialogue personality:

• Use voice tags. These little details, like "he chuckled," or "she whispered," help paint a picture of how the character is speaking. This adds nuance and avoids relying solely on the words themselves to convey emotion.

• Incorporate dialects and accents. Even subtle differences in pronunciation or word choice can create a unique and memorable voice. Do some research into how people from specific regions speak, or how people with certain backgrounds might use language differently.

• Use slang and colloquialisms. These informal phrases can make your characters sound more authentic and relatable. However, use them sparingly and make sure they fit the character's background and personality.

• Vary sentence structure. Just like real people, your characters shouldn't always speak in perfectly formed sentences. Use fragments, run-on sentences, and other variations to make the dialogue sound more natural.

• Don't be afraid to use contractions. Contractions make dialogue sound more informal and conversational.

Example:

Original: "I am going to the store to buy some groceries."
Revised: "I'm gonna head to the store and grab some groceries."

Resources for Creating Unique Voices:

• The Dialogue Doctor: https://thedialoguedoctor.com/: This website offers a wealth of resources on writing dialogue, including articles on creating character voices and avoiding common dialogue mistakes.
• Screenwriting University: https://www.screenwritingu.com/: This online platform offers courses and resources on all aspects of screenwriting, including dialogue writing.
• The Writer's Digest: https://www.writersdigest.com/: This website provides a variety of articles and resources for writers, including a section on dialogue.

Remember, the most important thing is to make your dialogue sound authentic and engaging. Don't be afraid to experiment and find what works best for you and your characters.