Beyond 'Said' and 'Asked': 5 Common Dialogue Mistakes Screenwriters Make (and How to Fix Them)

The Curse of the Passive Voice

The passive voice is a grammatical construction where the subject of a sentence is acted upon, rather than performing the action. For example, instead of saying "The dog chased the cat," you might say "The cat was chased by the dog." While technically correct, the passive voice can make your dialogue sound stilted and unnatural. It can also make it difficult for the reader to understand who is doing what.

Here's why passive voice is bad for dialogue and how to avoid it:

• It lacks clarity: Passive voice often obscures the actor in a sentence. This makes it hard for the reader to follow the action and understand who is responsible for what.
• It sounds clunky: Passive voice can sound overly formal and awkward in dialogue. It doesn't reflect how people naturally speak.
• It weakens the story: Passive voice can make your dialogue feel detached and unemotional. A strong, active voice helps to build tension and create a sense of immediacy.

Example:

Instead of:

"The door was opened by the man."

Write:

"The man opened the door."

How to Identify the Passive Voice:

• Look for the word "by": Sentences in the passive voice often contain the word "by." This indicates that the subject of the sentence is being acted upon.
• Ask "who is doing the action?": If you can't easily answer that question, the sentence is likely in the passive voice.

Tips for Avoiding the Passive Voice:

• Actively identify and rewrite passive sentences: Read through your dialogue and pay attention to the voice. If you find sentences with the word "by," rewrite them to put the actor in the subject position.
• Think about the action: Ask yourself who is doing what in the scene. Then, structure the sentence to clearly reflect that action.
• Use strong verbs: Strong verbs create a sense of energy and immediacy in your dialogue. This can help to avoid the passive voice by naturally emphasizing the action.

Remember, the goal is to make your dialogue sound natural and engaging. By avoiding the passive voice, you can create a more dynamic and impactful scene.

Overusing Exposition: When Dialogue Turns Into a Lecture

Imagine your characters sitting down for a casual chat, only to find themselves delivering a textbook-worthy dissertation on the history of their family feud, the intricacies of their political beliefs, or the motivations behind their villainous plot. This, my friends, is the dreaded trap of exposition overload.

Why is it bad? Because it breaks the natural flow of dialogue and makes your characters sound robotic and unnatural.

Here's a breakdown of the issue:

• Information Dumps: Imagine a friend telling you about their recent trip, but instead of sharing fun anecdotes, they spew out every single detail, every sight they saw, every meal they ate. That's what exposition overload feels like to the audience.
• Unrealistic Conversations: In real life, people don't constantly explain everything to each other. They share information organically, through actions, reactions, and implied understanding.
• Character Disconnect: When dialogue becomes purely informational, it removes the characters' agency and makes them feel like puppets controlled by the writer's need to deliver information.

So, how do you avoid this?

1. Show, Don't Tell: Instead of having characters explicitly state everything, use subtext, actions, and reactions to reveal information. For instance, instead of having a character say, 'I'm angry at my brother,' show them slamming a door, refusing to speak, or giving their brother a withering look.

2. Use Dialogue to Reveal Character: Every line of dialogue should reveal something about the speaker. Avoid generic lines that don't contribute to character development.

3. Engage the Audience Emotionally: Good dialogue engages the audience emotionally. Instead of simply delivering information, use dialogue to create tension, humor, or drama.

Example:

Bad: 'My father died when I was young, and that's why I'm so determined to avenge his death.' (This is a classic example of exposition overload.)

Good: The scar on his cheek pulsed with the same intensity as his anger. 'He used to say I was born under a bad sign,' he muttered, his voice hoarse with suppressed rage. (This shows the character's anger and motivation without stating it explicitly.)

Remember, dialogue is a powerful tool to reveal character, advance the plot, and engage the audience emotionally. Avoid exposition overload, and your characters will be more engaging and believable, leading to a richer, more immersive story for your viewers.

Ignoring Subtext: The Silent Language of Dialogue

Dialogue isn't just about the words spoken. It's about the unspoken, the underlying emotions, the subtext that gives your characters depth and your story resonance. Think of it as a silent language that speaks volumes about who your characters are, their relationships, and the stakes of the moment.

Why is subtext important?

• Adds layers of complexity: Subtext allows you to explore characters' motivations, relationships, and conflicts in nuanced ways without resorting to lengthy exposition.
• Enhances realism: Real-life conversations are rarely straightforward. People often say things they don't mean, leave things unsaid, or express their feelings indirectly. Subtext captures this natural complexity.
• Creates suspense and intrigue: Subtext can create tension and mystery, leaving the audience wanting more.

How to write dialogue with subtext:

1. Explore the characters' inner lives: What are their unspoken fears, desires, and motivations? How do these affect their interactions with others?
2. Use body language and tone of voice: These elements can reveal a lot about a character's true feelings, even if they don't explicitly say them.
3. Create deliberate silences: Pauses in dialogue can be more powerful than words. They create space for the audience to infer meaning and experience the tension of unspoken emotions.
4. Employ double meanings: Use dialogue that can be interpreted in multiple ways. This creates ambiguity and keeps the audience guessing.
5. Show, don't tell: Don't just tell the audience what the characters are feeling. Show it through their actions, reactions, and choices.

Example:

Instead of:

"I'm so angry with you!" she said, her voice trembling.

Try:

She slammed the door shut, the sound echoing in the empty room. He stood there for a moment, his hands clenched into fists, before finally turning to leave.

By showing her anger through her actions, you create a more powerful and believable moment that speaks volumes without saying a word.

By learning to use subtext effectively, you can elevate your dialogue from basic exposition to a powerful tool for revealing character, driving plot, and captivating your audience.

Creating Characters Who Sound the Same: Avoiding Dialogue Monotony

One of the most common mistakes screenwriters make is creating characters who all sound the same. This can be a result of not giving enough thought to character development or simply not knowing how to write dialogue that is both engaging and distinct.

Imagine a scene with two characters arguing. They both use the same tone, vocabulary, and sentence structure. The result? A dull, uninspired dialogue that fails to captivate the audience.

So, how do you avoid creating characters who sound the same?

Here are a few tips:

• Give each character a distinct voice. This means considering their age, background, education, and personality. What kind of language do they use? Do they use slang or technical jargon? How do they express their emotions? For example, a character who is a scientist might speak in a more technical and precise manner, while a character who is a streetwise teenager might use slang and colloquialisms.

• Use different dialogue tags. Don't just rely on "said" and "asked." There are plenty of other options available (e.g., whispered, declared, chuckled, retorted, etc.). Consider the emotions and actions of the characters when choosing your dialogue tags. For example, if a character is angry, you might use a dialogue tag like "snapped" or "growled." Check out this article on more descriptive dialogue tags.

• Consider the character's motivations. Why is this character speaking? What are they trying to achieve? Understanding a character's motivation can help you write dialogue that feels authentic and believable.

• Read your dialogue out loud. This will help you identify any areas where characters sound too similar. If you find that two characters are using the same phrases or speaking in the same tone, you can revise the dialogue to make it more distinct.

By following these tips, you can avoid creating characters who sound the same and give your dialogue a sense of life and authenticity.

The Power of Silence: When Less is More in Dialogue

Silence, in the realm of screenwriting, isn't just the absence of words. It's a powerful tool that can heighten tension, reveal character, and even amplify the impact of dialogue. Think of the iconic scene in The Godfather where Michael Corleone sits silently while his brother Sonny yells at him. The lack of words speaks volumes about Michael's character and the simmering conflict beneath the surface.

Here's why silence is golden in screenwriting:

• Creates Tension: Silence can build suspense and anticipation. When characters pause before speaking, it forces the audience to wonder what's going through their minds, amplifying the weight of their eventual words.
• Reveals Character: A character's silence can reveal more about them than their dialogue. A quiet observer might be thoughtful and analytical, while someone who constantly interrupts could be impulsive and controlling.
• Enhances Emotional Impact: Silence allows the audience to fully absorb the emotions of a scene. It gives them time to process the information presented, making the impact of dialogue more profound.

How to Utilize Silence Effectively:

• Don't Overuse It: Too much silence can feel unnatural or tedious. Use it strategically and sparingly for maximum impact.
• Consider the Context: Think about the emotional and thematic context of the scene. When does silence make the most sense?
• Use Visual Cues: When a character is silent, use visual cues like facial expressions, body language, or even the environment to convey their inner thoughts and feelings.

Remember: Silence is a valuable tool in screenwriting. By utilizing it effectively, you can create a richer, more impactful experience for your audience.

For further exploration:

• The Art of Subtext in Screenwriting
• How to Write Dialogue That Sounds Natural